My dad took this picture of me at a botanical garden in Louisiana and it kinda sums up my inquisitive nature. I’ve always been curious and innately fascinated by the world.
When I came to understand my sexuality, I also realized my peculiar position in that world. I learned to use my heightened awareness to protect me from a society that wasn’t particularly friendly. And I came to see the undercurrents that flow through daily life.
But I think the defining moment that really shaped me and my work occurred while living in mysterious Louisiana as a child. At about 6 years old, I saw a dead body. While on a bike ride with my siblings, we stumbled on an old black cemetery. One of the tombs had been pried open. Inside was a plain pine coffin with an elegantly dressed man in tux and top hat lying in a bed of pine straw. I distinctly remember his gaunt face, exposed teeth and lack of eyes. It was like a vision from a gothic novel.
At first, we were all terrified and ran home screaming. But I think this also triggered a curious empathy on my part. Who was this man? Why was he dressed so beautifully? (I didn’t dress like that.) More importantly, why would someone do that to him!
This was a galvanizing moment. So many questions about life and death, of respect and disregard and especially of history. I started to see the network of connections that give our world it’s complex richness.
I was always a bit shy. When photography became a sincere passion of mine, the camera allowed me to explore my sexuality in a “safe” manner. The camera was a shield to allow me to explore my desires while protecting me from the hostilities of society.
Suddenly, the forgotten and abandoned symbolized more. It clicked with gay lifestyle – remain hidden, stay under the radar. At the same time, there was such a wealth of beauty that most overlooked. It became my metaphor.
Over the years, the nude male began to take on new meaning. Instead of a distinctly personal study, I saw how the vulnerable figure suggested greater meaning. Being gay does tend to keep you aware of societal foibles and now the nude has become a represention of mankind in general.
This is the current path I’m on. As humans continue to influence the globe, I try to reveal those impacts. We are all of the same flesh and we are all on this blue sphere together. I hope to bring to light our hubris, realizing that we are not forever.
I know it’s a lofty goal, but that curious child inside me wants to give it a shot!
